A Bottle of Diet Poison
by Dagger-Kitty and Wolfie
Summary: Kyouya is out to ruin Haruhi's reputation by any means neccessary. Eventual HaruhixTamaki HaruhixKyouyaish
1. A is for Asshole, Which is What I am

Disclaimer: As much as we wish we did, we don't own any of these characters. If anything they own us. APPARENTLY they are owned by FUNimation. [STFU YouTube...STFU. /Manditory Disclaimer XD

Summary: Kyouya is out to ruin Haruhi's reputation by whatever means possible. Hilarity ensues. (Along with some great shots of Kyouya's abs.)

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"Where are we going Kyouya-Senpai?" Haruhi asked as she followed the dark haired bespectacled boy down a long narrow hallway that led to part of Ouran Academy she hadn't seen before. Thunder cracked outside as the lighting cast shadows on the walls. Haruhi bristled, keeping close to Kyouya.

"Unfortunately, to be part of the Host Club, you need to know the location of the meeting room," Kyouya declared icily. Haruhi looked at him with confusion. The Senpai sighed, "Tamaki requested a more sufficient meeting place, and this is what the Superintendent came up with. With a little extra funding of course." His glasses flashed evilly.

Kyouya flipped the light switch. The room appeared to be identical to the previous room, with the exception of a proper sign hung over the door. "Isn't this exactly like our other room Senpai?"

He glared down at her, "No, in fact, you have been quite costly. They've taken the liberty of adding a separate dressing room for you." Kyouya gestured to a small oak door in the far corner.

"That's very nice of you, Senpai." Haruhi said nervously.

"I didn't say me. I said they," he pushed his glasses up, "feel free to have a look around before I have to lock up." He took a seat in the nearest armchair and began jotting down his usual notes.

The thunder cracked again, Haruhi looked frightened, "Maybe we'd better get going, tonight's storm is pretty violent. I should get home."

_Dear, if I have to put up with this filthy commoner, for much longer… What would father think? I wish there were some way to, dispose of her. But how? I obviously cannot kill her, all the secret police in the world couldn't make up for the popularity that….that __**girl**__ has obtained. Hmmm…I have just thing to rid myself of this vermin._

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about it," Kyouya waved his hand nonchalantly, "Ouran is probably safer than your house anyway."

No sooner had the words crossed his lips then the lights flickered briefly before turning off completely.

"We really should get going Kyouya-Senpai…" Haruhi murmured as she inched towards the door.

Kyouya grinned cruelly. "Don't bother. Since this Academy was built using state of the art technology, the doors are fail-safe. Which means, if the power goes out, they fail in the safe way," he spoke in a condescending drawl, "which means locked."

"So what you're saying is that since there's no power, I'm stuck here."

Kyouya sighed in exasperation. "Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Excuse me for a moment please," Kyouya got up from his armchair.

"Where are you going, Senpai?" Haruhi asked, fear creeping into her usually calm voice.

"To the Restroom," he said, ducking into one of the doors lining the far wall of the meeting room, "hope you don't mind."

Haruhi sunk to the floor outside covering her face in humiliation.

_Why does Kyouya-Senpai seem to hate me so much? I hope we aren't stranded here for very long. I wonder what Tamaki-Senpai and the others are doing right now…_

Kyouya reappeared wearing only his slacks. Haruhi looked up at him, she'd only seem him this way once before. Her cheeks flushed. She found herself fearing Kyouya-Senpai, as memories of their last stormy night together flooded her.

"Something wrong?" He asked coolly as she stared blankly at his bare chest, "Don't get any ideas," he sighed, "No power, means no air-conditioning, it's going to get warm in here very quickly." He informed her as he strode past.

_I swear the temperature around that man is 10 degrees cooler than everywhere else just because of his icy-demeanor. Why did I have to be locked in here with him instead of Tamaki-Senpai? Or the twins?…Or anyone else for that matter?_

"Do you really think the power will be off that long Senpai?"

Kyouya grinned to himself as he strode away. "With an academy this size, it takes time to fix the power. We could be in here for hours."

_Yes, this could work out nicely,_ Kyouya thought, tucking a cell phone back into his pocket. _If I play my cards right I can even get Tamaki to turn against his __**precious**__ Haruhi._

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Dagger: Bwhahaha what a great teaser.

Wolfie: And you know you guys are going to review because if you don't-

Dagger: WE'LL SHOVE OATMEAL RAISIN COOKIES DOWN YOUR THROAT!

Wolfie: ;-; Stfu. I like oatmeal raisin cookies. They're delicious.

Dagger: THEY ARE SATIN!

Wolfie: Don't you mean "Satan"?

Dagger: That too.

Wolfie: .:sweatdrop:. Riiight.

Dagger: Barenaked Ladies are god...

Wolfie: Truly.

Dagger: But we're getting off topic. You will review because if you don't Honey-Senpai will cry.

Honey: Please review! They have my bu-muffled

Dagger: Heh heh heh... .:sweatdrop:. BYE!


	2. Flowers and a 22 with Shells

Disclaimer: We don't own these characters and stuff D

Sorry that took so long to get up. Dagger and Wolfie are busy people nod

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Kyouya's face changed drastically, his harsh features and icy stare gave way to a pleasant smile. Haruhi was entranced by the sudden difference. She stared at him openly. "Is something wrong, Haruhi?" He asked.

"No, no, not at all," she said still staring boldly.

_He must see merit in being kind to me. But why now? I suppose it's easier to be pleasant to someone you're forced to spend the evening with._

"Would you like some tea? I believe I shall go make some." Kyouya offered politely.

"Y-yes please, thank you Kyouya-Senpai." Kyouya ducked into the pantry, leaving his clothes draped over the back of a large arm chair. Once in the kitchen he turned on the electric stove adding a tea kettle. He carefully removed tea cups from the storage cupboard.

_This is going to be easier than I had thought. Such an innocent girl. Only a few more pieces, everything is falling into place._

Haruhi was left in the meeting room, sweating. It didn't seem possible for the room to have warmed up so quickly. Perhaps hot tea wasn't the best idea, but Haruhi wasn't about to refuse hospitality from Kyouya-Senpai.

She took off her lavender jacket and un-tucked her shirt, in hopes of relief. She wanted to remove her slacks and dress shirt. Even with her camisole underneath, it would be inappropriate to be in such a state with Kyouya-Senpai.

"It has warmed up in here hasn't it?" Kyouya re-entered carrying a tea tray. He set it down in front of Haruhi and poured her a cup. "Do you mind if I...?" He fidgety with his belt.

Haruhi bristled, but her words betrayed her, "Of course not, Senpai."

Kyouya smiled warmly, removing his slacks revealing long grey boxers._ They're fitting_, Haruhi thought to herself.

"You look warm Haruhi; of course you don't plan on sleeping in your uniform?" Kyouya commented, innocently.

Haruhi flushed.

"Here," he offered her his own dress shirt, "go put mine on instead, in should come down to nearly your knees."

Haruhi took the shirt, still shocked with the kindness the Senpai was offering her. She couldn't help but wonder what was in it for him, where his scheme was going. _What if Tamaki-Senpai found me like this? Would he believe nothing happened a second time? _She thought as she slipped into the newly built dressing room. It was dark; she fumbled with the buttons on her shirt. _Surely Kyouya wouldn't dare do anything to hurt me, it would damage is reputation. _Haruhi sighed, and resigned her self to incomprehension.

Kyouya had been right, buttoned the shirt went nearly to her knees. She entered the meeting room rolling up her sleeves. "Thank you Senpai," she said softly, feeling suddenly shy. He smiled at her, taking a sip of his tea.

_She truly is beautiful, even if she is a commoner. It would be so easy to take her innocence from her; I dare say I would enjoy it. But, fathering the child of a commoner wouldn't be acceptable at all... _Kyouya realized he was staring at Haruhi as he mused, Haruhi flushed. Kyouya was careful to look away,_ If I am to make Tamaki-Kun and the rest of the Host Club believe this little commoner is a whore anyway, what would be the harm if I just...?_

"Kyouya-Senpai?" Haruhi asked softly?

"Yes, Haru-chan," He answered, stressing familiarity. Haruhi blushed again. _So predictable..._

"Where are we to sleep?"

"Oh yes, I almost forgot, stand up." Haruhi stood quickly and watched as the Senpai pulled cushions off the couch. He quickly made it into a bed, his smile sparkling in the moonlight. Haruhi inspected it carefully, amazed at the Host Club's ingenuity.

"Wow Kyouya-Senpai, I didn't know this was here."

Kyouya smiled his Host-smile, "Sleep well, Haru-chan."

"Are you sure Senpai? Where will you sleep?" Haruhi spoke softly, utterly confused. _What does he have to gain?_

"I'll sleep right here," he plopped down in one of the many squishy arm chairs, "I have work to do anyway."

Haruhi climbed into bed slowly, arranging the sheets around her. The room was sweltering. Haruhi didn't understand how it could be so hot. Thunderstorms were supposed to bring cool weather; this one seemed to have brought the fires of hell! Nevertheless, she didn't feel comfortable being so _exposed_.

"Goodnight Senpai," she said timidly.

"Goodnight Haruhi."

Haruhi drifted into an uncomfortable sleep, while Kyouya plotted, jotting notes in his date-book by moonlight. The storm outside calmed has the hours of night inched by. Kyouya watched Haruhi and slept on and off, making sure she stayed in bed. He didn't need her wandering to the door or to the bathroom in the night. That would complicate matters, especially if she realized a few… key details.

The sun began to peek over the horizon, and Kyouya set the last phase of his plan in motion. He snuck quietly over to the chair where he'd laid his clothes and crumpled them, and scattered them on the ground. He ducked into Haruhi's dressing room and did the same with her uniform.

He then entered the store room and turned down the thermostat, restoring the room to a comfortable temperature. He unlocked the doors and turned on the lights in the kitchen.

Then he sat on the edge of the fold out bed, and sipped a fresh cup of tea,

And waited for the Host Club to arrive.

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Wolfie: That ending sucked.

Dagger: You wrote it.

Wolfie: Yeah I know I'm just sayin'.

Dagger: O.o?

Wolfie: .>;;

Dagger: I feel like tacos.

Wolfie: I feel like writing better next time.

Dagger: But the plot warms up now.

Wolfie: Yeah. pets Bun-Bun I got the manga the other day.

Dagger: Oh?

Wolfie: Yeah, our story isn't really manga-canon.

Dagger: It's a good thing we're not canon-whores isn't it?


End file.
